Kisses make a welcome return with their new single ‘Midnight Lover’, which gets released on Valentine’s Day, Feb 14th and this Ultracity mix is nine minutes of Aeroplaney throw-your-hands-up-and-float-away joy full of strings that wash back and forth over you like a warm tide on a dusky beach.
This has been all over Tumblr, so I’ll be surprised if anyone hasn’t heard about it, but this is the latest bullshit coming from the anti-woman Congress.
The GOP is seeking to limit the definition of rape so that only certain types of rape will qualify for taxpayer funds for abortion. Nevermind, of course, that this undermines the already constantly under fire. Nevermind, of course, that this attempts to strip victims of their own horrific experiences. Nevermind, of course, that women shouldn’t have to justify their access to a legal medical procedure to the satisfaction of some overwhelmingly male legislators.
What’s important is that a minuscule percentage of our tax dollars don’t go to helping women afford a necessary medical procedure. What’s important is that we can give a big “fuck you” to the members of our society with uteruses, and tell them that their rape wasn’t rape-y enough for us to give financial support towards their abortion.
Hopefully, by screwing over all those women who were raped when they were unconscious or children, we’ll save enough money to continue going to war all over the world. Because that’s what this country is all about.
Sit down. Inhale. Exhale. The gun will wait. The lake will wait. The tall gall in the small seductive vial will wait will wait: will wait a week: will wait through April. You do not have to die this certain day. Death will abide, will pamper your postponement. I assure you death will wait. Death…
While I turned 25 a few months ago, here are 25 things i learned before turning 25.
Marriage is something conservatives created to beat evolution.
“It’s just a bad time for graduates, the economy is so flaky right now” is the greatest excuse for unemployment ever invented. We never have to admit we are unqualified, unmotivated, tired, hungover, or rebellious. Because really, it’s the recession. “So…I can defer my student loan…right?”
American Apparel is the new standard of “hot.” Eating disorders and amateur modeling portfolios higher than ever!
Experience teaches you two things: how to forget the experience and how to hustle, not how to learn.
Cigarettes taste better when they are bummed, not bought. No one wants to support the vicious, tobacco monster. We’re all “not really smokers, just when we drink.” Sure. Thanks, 7-11 for allowing me to stumble in at 2 am and declare the very same thing. “”5.72? Makes sense to me!”
Toys for your children will always be more technologically complicated, yet cerebrally less stimulating, then the toys you remember…and more expensive. This just in: imagination no longer present in younger generation. Battery acid accidents up ten percent. Grandma’s withdrawn college funds up 1000%.
Orgasms are awesome, but AIDS is scary. Condoms were invented for your generation. This goes without saying but “Abstinence only” sex ed is something I will get to write about again when I live to be 50. Oh, you Christian Caucus, how many secret grandchildren do you have to have before you let me eat ya lovebabies?
Donkey Kong is the best game ever invented.
Music is something you simply don’t have to pay for and MTV never played music, it played pop culture…and you LOVED Surge, skateboarding, posing, Sketchers, Roxy, glitter pens, Kerropi, slam books, and Jncos. Admit it!
Life is hard, get an addiction.
No one wants to hear your misc. thoughts more than you want to make other people hear them.
Being a good speller is an option, Word will take care of that, but learning how to text efficiently is pertinent.
Because we lived it and will write it, Bush WILL look like a monster.
Facebook usage is directly correlated with job loss. As status updates increase, credibility plummets.
Fahrenheit 451 has been slightly altered, but is nonetheless a prophecy. Kindle = the death of the public library. I call the Bible and Catcher in the Rye :0
Existing through song quotes is easier than having original thoughts.
Commercials are optional, I got Tivo bitch. Prediction: savvy marketing company infiltrates local tattoo shop. “But.. . I wanted it to say “Ride the tide” with a wave, not “Tide: the number one dish detergent of the oil spill crisis 2010.”
The Apocalypse is seriously always around the corner so let’s get drunk…or convert. Nostradamus still top Google search of 2010.Mel Gibson still an asshole.
Binge drinking parties are the most accepted recreational activity in the USA. Tea parties…notsomuch. #Mothafuckayoumustberacist
Hashtags make everything you say acceptable #itscleversoitmustbetrue
Gas was never and will never be less than $2 and killing endangered species to drive a Hummer is 100% acceptable, while wearing them is debatable…unless you’re Sarah Palin, and then everything is kosher. “Oh, you betcha!”
Your hair is never as cool as you think. In ten years, everything seems silly.
Self-deprecation, self-obsession, and self-indulgence are all we got. There’s a war? Like, the tanning salon wars? When?! When will it end?!
Coffee tastes better when it’s $4.46 at a corporate conglomerate then when it’s made at home in the convenience of your kitchen. #whatsacoffeepot?
The only thing you learn at 25 is how to be critical, and when you get married and have kids…you simply forget.
At least I have now. Thanks for listening to my well-planned rant.
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow. What a Ride.’”—Hunter S. Thompson (via sothenshe)